O Lord, my heart is not proud, nor my eyes haughty; nor do I involve myself in great matters, or in things too difficult for me. Surely I have composed and quieted my soul; like a weaned child rests against his mother, my soul is like a weaned child within me. O Israel, hope in the Lord from this time forth and forever. (Psalm 137)
This is the first time I have used an entire Psalm as an opening. But then it is only 3 verses long. I first ran across this Psalm as a psalm I learned at a Bible study in grad school. The music was written by some monks know as the St. Louis Jesuits. The music was hauntingly beautiful. Here’s an example of their music:
Back to Psalm 137. It was winter in Chicago in the early 90’s, and my wife and I has just suffered our third and final miscarriage. So grieving the loss of this child, I tried to compose and quiet my soul. I tried to think what it would be like for a child to rest safe and secure against his mother. And after great stretches of tears, my Loving Heavenly Father brought me comfort, as He held me in His arms.
This Psalm brought me great comfort, but it wasn’t just this song. Michael Card had just released his third and final album of His trilogy, The Life, and he had this incredible song entitled Joseph’s Song. And coincidentally it was a song about Joseph holding Jesus, his first born. I sat in the dark, repeating this on track over and over. The song begins:
How could it be this baby in my arms
Sleeping now, so peacefully
The Son of God, the angel said
How could it be
Lord I know He’s not my own
Not of my flesh, not of my bone
Still Father let this baby be
The son of my love.
Father show me where I fit into this plan of yours
How can a man be father to the Son of God
Lord for all my life I’ve been a simple carpenter
How can I raise a king? How can I raise a king?
Like Joseph, I didn’t understand the plan; but Joseph did raise a king; and he held a king—the King of kings. And I? I was the Dad who was held by my Father.
Years later, this song still stirs the loss and His overwhelming comfort. And there are still things I do not understand, but then I don’t have to. I trust Him.
Whatever you grief, whatever your loss, may you rest in the arms of The Most High.